


Accept my feelings.

by itsarelyherec8



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Falling In Love, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Original Character(s), Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 02:52:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7783918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsarelyherec8/pseuds/itsarelyherec8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erin Gilbert was never a girl that liked to be in relationships or that liked to fall in love with people. But that changed when she met Jillian Holtzmann. Of course, Erin didn't want Jillian to know her feelings so she had to hide them, only Abby knew about them. But what happens when this new girl comes to the firehouse and flirts with Holtzmann?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accept my feelings.

Erin was always the kind of girl who was never sure about her feelings towards people. She never liked any men but she still asked herself why men didn't like her. Maybe because she was the 'ghost girl', but still, that question was in her head. The first time she kissed someone, was a random girl that wanted to experiment and it seemed like Erin was the only one who waswilling to do it but of course, after their first kiss, the girl never talked to her again. All changed when she met Dr. Jillian Holtzmann. The first time she saw her, she thought she was a little bit crazy but cute and gorgeous, with the time, every time that Holtzmann was near her or touched her arm or smiled at her or flirt with her, Erin felt this tornado on her stomach and she couldn't stop it even if she wanted to. But of course, she always acted like nothing happend and just played along with Holtzmann. Erin didn't want to accept that she had feelings for Holtzmann for three things: 1) She was scared to be in a relationship. 2) They were colleagues. and 3) Jillian didn't like her.

So what was the point of telling Holtzmann that she liked her? There was no point of telling her and then suffering because Holtzmann didn't like her. She never really experienced that but, she knew it hurt. Abby suffered when a guy rejected her and Erin was always there to comfort her and she was her shoulder so she knew that if she told Holtzmann, she was just going to cry and she didn't want that at all. She was sure that Holtzmann was going to try to not hurt her, she knew that Holtzman loved her, just like she loved Abby and Patty but still, she just didn't want to get hurt. It's been a year since they know each other and Erin felt this huge love for Holtzmann but as always, she denied that feeling. Abby always told her to just confront her feelings and accept them, there was going to be a day that she was going to have to accept her feelings, it was now or never and Erin always answered, never. 

What was the point of being in love? What was the point of accepting her love for Jillian Holtzmann if she was going to suffer and not have her? Why was love so important for some people? It's not like you are going to die for not having love, for not having someone to tell you 'I love you' or just exchange cheesy comments or things. What about that people making out in front of everyone? Or the ones who give them a big bear and letters and shit like that? That's not even love. Love is a force of nature. Love is inherently free. It cannot be bought, sold, or traded. You cannot make someone love you, nor can you prevent it, for any amount of money. Love cannot be imprisoned nor can it be legislated. Love is not a substance, not a commodity, nor even a marketable power source. Love has no territory, no borders, no quantifiable mass or energy output. You don't love someone if you care about the things they give you. All that matters is to feel love and happy having that person in your life. That's what love meant for Erin. How she knew about that? Because she felt that with Holtzmann. But still, love was bullshit. 

 _"What are you thinking?"_ Abby looked at Erin and sat down.

Erin looked at her. _"Nothing."_ She looked at her computer.

_"You were staring at Holtz again, you aware of that?"_

Erin looked at Abby. _"What? Of course not."_

_"Yes, that's why I came to ask you what you were thinking."_

Erin looked at Holtzmann and sigh. _"What I told you the other day."_

_"Erin, is obvious that you like Holtzmann a lot, just tell her already."_

_"I don't...at least I don't want to accept it."_

_"I can tell that."_

Erin looked at Abby. _"You know I'm not good with relationships, I never had one and I just..."_ Erin looked at her hands. _"I'll mess everything up."_

_"You won't."_

_"What if I tell her and she says she doesn't like me? I know she doesn't. Why would she?"_ Erin felt tears in her eyes.

 _"Um..."_ Abby looked around. _"Come on."_ Abby pulled Erin by her arm and took her to the first floor so they could talk. _"Erin..."_

 _"Abby I do, I like her, more than a friend and I even think that I love her more than a friend but I can't let this feeling take over me. I can't. I have to focus on my work, I have to focus on my things. Love is bullshit and I can't have love for her and I-I can't loose her."_ Erin said shooking her head and letting tears fall on her cheeks.

Abby looked at Erin. _"That's why you don't want to tell her, you don't want to loose her."_

_"I don't want to make things awkward between us, I want her to be my friend, I don't want anything to change for a stupid crush."_

_"You know it's not just a crush, Erin."_

Erin looked at her and shook her head. She looked at the floor and sigh. _"It's not."_

 _"Look, Erin, I can't assure you that everything is going to be fine but I can assure you that Holtzmann won't leave you. She gave you her freaking swiss army knife, one day I asked her if I could use it and she said no."_ Abby sigh and hugged Erin. _"She really cares about you and I even think she cares about you more than she cares about us."_

Erin sobbed. _"I can't loose her."_

 _"I know, sweetie. I know you can't."_ Abby pulled away and looked at Erin. _"Look, why don't we go upstairs, we write a little more for our second book and then we just go out or something."_

Erin smiled a little and nodded. _"That sounds like a plan."_ Erin walked up the stairs and cleaned her whole face so Patty and Holtzmann wouldn't ask if she cried but as soon as she looked at Holtzmann, Holtzmann's face changed and she had a worried face.

_"Gilbert, you alright?"_

_"What? Yeah I am."_ Erin nodded.

 _"Were you crying?"_ Holtzmann walked to her desk.

 _"No, no I wasn't, I just um...I smelled something and I didn't remember I was allergic so, that's why I'm like this."_ Erin smiled a little.

_"Well...ok but...if you need anything-"_

_"I know, thank you, Holtz."_

Holtzmann smiled. _"You're welcome."_ Holtzmann walked to her table work again.

Erin sigh and looked at Holtzmann for a little while before starting to work. _"Get your shit together, Gilbert."_ She whispered to herself.

 _"Guys, this is Amelia Mitchell, she's going to work with us for a while since she's about to graduate from college and here, Holtzmann is going to be her mentor for a few weeks since she's graduating as an engineer like Holtzmann."_ Abby smiled.

 _"Hello."_ Amelia smiled.

 _"Amelia! I'm Holtzmann, I'll be your mentor for the next 4 weeks and I hope you're ready to make things because there's going to be a lot of work. Not difficult but, hard."_ Holtzmann smiled.

Amelia smiled. _"It will be an honor."_

Patty walked to her and smiled. _"Hello there, I'm-"_

 _"Patty Tolan, I know who you are."_ Amelia smiled and looked at Erin. _"And you are Dr. Erin Gilbert. I read the book and I loved it."_

 _"Well thank you."_ Erin smiled a little.

 _"Alright guys, let's get to work. Let's go write Erin. I hope you enjoy working here, Amelia, welcome."_ Abby smiled.

_"Thank you, Dr. Yates."_

_"Oh just call me Abby."_

Amelia walked to the work table with Holtzmann and they started talking like if they knew each other since forever. Erin couldn't help but stare at them, she could see the way Amelia was looking at Holtzmann, it was the same way she looked at her. For some reason, Erin felt jealous, Amelia was so close to Holtz, she wanted to be close to Holtzmann. Wait...no no no, that's just her mind talking for her.

_"Abby, can we go get some coffee?"_

Abby looked at Erin. _"Sure, let's go."_

Erin nodded and grabbed her things. She looked at Holtzmann and Amelia for the last time and then left with Abby.

***************

Erin looked around and saw that there was no one in there, not even Amelia. Erin sigh and left the coffees on her desk until she heard something coming from Holtzmann's side. 

_"Holtz? You here?"_

_"Yeah!"_ Holtzmann yelled.

Erin grabbed one of the coffees and to look for Holtzmann. _"Where are you?"_

 _"Right here."_ Holtzmann jumped and scared Erin.

 _"Gezz Holtz."_ Erin touched her chest and sigh.

 _"Sorry."_ Holtzmann laughed a little.

_"Where is Amelia?"_

_"Oh she had to go, she had homework to do so she left home and I'm working in here."_ Holtzmann smiled.

Erin nodded and smiled. _"Good."_ Erin cleared her throat. _"Um, I bought you some coffee, I thought you might wanted some so and I also..."_ Erin looked on her purse and grabbed a muffin. _"brought you a muffin."_

Holtzmann smiled and looked at Erin. _"How did you know this was my favorite muffin?"_

 _"I remember that you told us one time out of nowhere."_ Erin laughed a little.

Holtzmann took a sip of her coffee. _"And my favorite coffee."_

_"I remember you complaining because Abby forgot what coffee you asked her and you repited like 4 times what coffee was the one you asked for."_

Holtzmann looked at Erin. _"You put attention on what I say."_

 _"Yeah well, I always do I think."_ Erin looked at Holtzmann and smiled.

There was something on Holtzmann's smile that made her feel happy and she felt like her stomach had a zoo and they were running. Those beautiful dimples were everything to Erin. Holtzmann looked at Erin in a way that no one ever did, it was weird but she loved it. Her face look so beautiful, it was no uncomfortable at all, it was a nice silence. Holtzmann gave a step closer to Erin ald left the coffee and the muffin on the table, Erin became a little nervous but never looked away. Erin thought about getting closer to Holtzmann but then something in her mind stopped her and she looked away.

 _"I um..."_ Erin cleared her throat. _"I better go, it's getting late and I have to um...to finish some things."_

Holtzmann looked at the floor and nodded. _"Sure. You need your beauty sleep. Even tho you don't need it."_

Erin blushed a little and looked at Holtzmann. _"You should go get some rest, you haven't sleep."_

_"I will, I'll just finish my coffee and my delicious muffin, after that, I'll go to sleep."_

Erin nodded. _"Good, well, I'll see you tomorrow."_

 _"Sure thing."_ Holtzmann smiled.

 _"Goodnight Jillian."_ Erin smiled and grabbed her things.

 _"Night Erin."_ Holtzmann smiled and saw Erin leaving. Holtzmann bit her lip. _"She called me Jillian._ " Holtzmann smiled. _"I'll let her call me like that. I like how it sounds."_

***************

_"That was amazing Amelia!"_

Erin went up the stairs and found Holtzmann, Patty and Abby laughing with Amelia. For some reason, she felt even more jealous, more because Amelia had her hand on Holtzmann's arm. Erin cleared her throat and everyone looked at Erin.

 _"Erin! You're finally here! Amelia was telling us a story, it was so funny!"_ Abby said laughing.

 _"I bet it was."_ Erin said looking at Holtzmann and Holtzmann was also laughing.

 _"Yo, you alright?"_ Patty asked looking at Erin.

 _"Why wouldn't I be?"_ Erin said with a serious face and sitting down on her desk.

They all looked at each other and then at Erin again who was already working on her computer. Erin didn't mean to be that way but she felt like Amelia was not nice, she felt that for some reason, she didn't like her, she knew she had to get to know her and maybe she was going to like her but she didn't want to, she didn't feel like getting to know her. Everyone got back to their work and Amelia and Holtzmann started working together again. Erin coulnd't help but look what they were doing and Holtzmann was behind Amelia, grabbing her hands showing her how she had to grab some of her new gadgets, she saw the smile on Amelia's face and she wasn't even putting attention to Holtzmann. Erin felt jealous and mad because she thought Holtzmann only did that with her. It was for sure that she didn't like Amelia at all. Erin closed her computer and stood up, she went to the bathroom and closed the door. She pressed her back against the door and felt tears in her eyes. This was the reason why she didn't want to accept her feelings for Holtzmann. She didn't want to cry for her, she didn't want to feel hurt at all but she was now, it was more the jealousy than anything. Erin walked to the sink and looked into the mirror, she was a mess. Last night, she had this dream about Holtzmann rejecting her and hurting her, she felt terrible and cried all night, now, she was crying again and she wished she wasn't. Erin sigh and washed her face, they couldn't see her like this. Erin heard the door open and saw Amelia in the door.

_"Oh, I didn't know you were in here."_

_"It's fine, after all it's a big bathroom so, everyone can come in."_ Erin said as she dried her face with a towel.

_"Are you ok?"_

_"Yeah, sure, all good."_ Erin smiled a little.

 _"Alright."_ Amelia smiled a little and she was about to enter one of the bathrooms but stopped. _"Dr. Gilbert?"_

Erin looked at her. _"Yeah?"_

_"Do you um...do you know if Dr. Holtzmann is into girls?"_

Erin felt a big punch on her chest and took a deep breath. _"Don't know. Why you ask?"_

Amelia shook her head. _"No reason."_ Amelia smiled a little.

Erin nodded and went back to her desk. Did Amelia really ask her that? Now it was for sure that she lost Holtzmann forever. Erin sat on her desk and sigh. She felt really bad and she just wanted to go home. She looked at her desk and saw a brown bag in front of her. She didn't brought anything. Erin looked around and there was no one in the floor, they were probably downstairs. Erin grabbed the bag and looked what was inside, she saw her favorite muffin and note. She grabbed the note and opened it. 

**_I also put attention in all you say, so I thought I could buy you a muffin just like you did last night, it was delicious by the way. I hope I got it right, enjoy your muffin._ **

**_P.d: Also, I lvoed how my name sounded in your voice, you can keep calling me Jillian if you want to(;_ **

**_Holtz x_ **

Erin smiled and looked at Holtzmann's side. Holtzmann was already there working on something new. Erin bit her lip but then her smile disappeared, she looked at the note and sigh. She probably did that because Erin bought her the muffin and the coffee last night. Not big deal at all. Erin sigh and looked at Holtzmann again but this time, Amelia was with her, making Holtzmann smile and laugh. That should be her, making her smile and laugh. It was all her fault, she didn't want to accept her feelings for Holtzmann, this is what she gets. Amelia winked at Holtzmann and Holtzmann just laughed and kept working with Amelia, Erin shook her head, she grabbed the bag and walked down the stairs to find Abby sitting on one of the desk working on her computer, Erin grabbed a chair and sat beside Abby. 

 _"Want some muffin?"_ Erin offered Abby.

 _"No, thanks."_ Abby looked at Erin. "Where did you get that?"

 _"Holtzmann brought it for me."_ Erin said while eating some of her muffin.

 _"Mmm...Holtzmann, huh?"_ Abby smirked.

_"Don't even. That girl, Amelia, she's flirting with her. She asked me if Holtzmann was into girls and she was flirting with her."_

_"Did Holtzmann blush?"_

Erin shook her head. _"I don't know but she was laughing and smiling."_

 _"So you are jealous."_ Abby said while taking a sip of her coffee.

Erin shook her head. _"No."_ She took other bit of her muffin.

_"You sure?"_

_"Yeah."_ Erin took other bit of her muffin.

_"Gezz, calm down, no one is going to take that muffin away from you."_

Erin sigh and left the muffin on the desk. _"I just..."_

_"First end that muffin on your mouth and then talk because I can't understand anything with your mouthfull."_

Erin waited a few seconds and then finished. _"I don't know what's wrong with me."_

_"You are jealous."_

_"I'm not jealous."_

_"Erin, come on."_

Erin sigh. _"I don't want to-"_

_"You don't want to accept it, I know that. That's what you do. You hide what you really feel and that's not good. I'm not saying you're going to loose her but...if you keep hiding your feelings then you are going to suffer."_

Erin looked at Abby for a moment. Erin felt tears in her eyes and covered her face. _"I can't..."_

Abby pulled Erin into her arms and kissed her forehead. _"It's going to be ok."_

_"I um...I'm on my period, that's why I'm crying a lot lately."_

_"Erin, stop."_

_"I can't be like this!"_ Erin stood up. _"I can't, Abby. She is our friend, we are colleagues, I can't..."_ Erin looked at the stairs and looked at Abby again. _"I can't be in love with her."_ Erin said almost whispering.

 _"Erin is moment for you to stop thinking about that, ok? There is nothing wrong with falling in love with a friend or a colleague. You are crazy for her, you should tell her or either way, you can loose her. If you tell her, you probably won't but if you don't...then you will loose her."_ Abby said looking at Erin and then walking up the stairs.

Erin stared at the floor for a while and then dried her tears with her shirt. She cleared her throat and grabbed the muffin.

***************

It's been 3 weeks since Amelia came to work with Holtz every single day, there was no day she wasn't here and eveyrone loved her. Just one more week and she was going to leave forever(Erin hoped). But also, it's been 3 weeks that she's been distant with Holtzmann but it seemed like Holtzmann really didn't care about it. After the talk with Abby, she decide to just distant herself with Holtzmann, maybe that way she would forget about her feelings and just keep loving Holtz as a friend and not more than that but that failed. She missed Holtzmann, she missed her touched, she missed her smile, her laugh, she missed looking at Holtzmann. Erin sigh and walked to the desk that was not hers, she's been working on the first floor ever since she decided to be distant, it was better this way. Patty walked down the stairs and found Erin working on her computer.

 _"Hey, Gil."_ Patty grabbed a chair and sat down beside Erin.

 _"Hello, Patty. Is everything ok?"_ She said without looking at Patty.

_"Kind of. I've got a question for you."_

_"Sure, what is it?"_

_"Did something happen between you and Holtzy?"_

Sooner or later this was going to happen. Erin looked at Patty and smiled a little. _"Nothing happend. Why do you ask?"_

 _"Well, it's been 3 weeks since you don't talk to her or stare at her. You haven't even smiled at her. Something's wrong with you."_  Patty crossed her arms.

 _"Nothing is wrong, Patty. I'm just really into the book and she's with Amelia."_ Erin said annoyed and looked at her computer again.

_"That's it! You are jealous!"_

Erin looked at Patty. _"Patty! Shut it."_

 _"Is that right? Come on, Gilbert. I know you are crazy about Holtzy."_ Patty smiled.

 _"Can we just not talk about this? I'm no in the mood."_ Erin said looked at her computer again and sigh.

Patty shook her head. _"Alright then. If that's what you want."_ Patty stood up.

 _"Patty?"_ Erin looked at Patty.

 _"Yeah, sweetie?"_ Patty looked at Erin before leaving.

 _"Do you..."_ Erin took a deep breath. _"Do you think is wrong?"_

Patty shook her head. _"All I want is for you two to be happy, that's all that matters."_ Patty smiled and left.

Erin looked at the floor and smiled a little. She heard someone coming down again and looked at the stairs. _"Amelia, is everything alright?"_

Amelia nodded and walked to the desk. _"Just wanted to talk to you."_

 _"Sure, about what?"_ Erin said looking up at her.

 _"I heard you, 3 weeks ago, talking to Abby about Holtzmann and let me tell you something. Abby was right, you were going to loose Jilliana nd you already did."_ Amelia smiled a little.

_"I'm sorry?"_

_"I don't know how Jillian never really noticed that you liked her? Unfortunately, you lost your chance already. Jillian doesn't like you, how could she like someone like you?"_

Erin felt tears in her eyes. _"You have no right to say that to me."_

Amelia laughed a little. _"I do, actually. You know it's true, plus you are such a coward."_

Erin stood up without looking away. _"Shut up, just shut the fuck up."_

Amelia laughed. _"Oh, Dr. Gilbert, thought you didn't say bad words."_

_"You don't know anything about me, you know nothing!"_

_"Maybe not but, I know Jillian. I've spent a lot of time with her, even nights."_ Amelia smirked.

Erin felt pain on her chest and she just wanted to break down. _"Why are you doing this? What have I done to you?"_

_"I just wanted to let you know, that's all."_

_"You're a bitch."_

_"But they think I'm an angel, Jillian thinks I'm an angel."_

_"It's Holtzmann, she hates when people call her Jillian."_

_"She hates you calling her that, she loves when I call her Jillian."_ Amelia smiled. _"Too bad you missed your opportunity, guess you have to give up."_ Amelia laughed. _"Good luck, Dr. Gilbert."_ Amelia winked at her and walked up the stairs leaving Erin speechless.

Erin sat down and let her tears run down her cheeks. She completly lost Holtzmann for good. She felt she was back on school when everyone made fun of her, back to those awful days when she went back home to their parents yelling at her and Erin running to her room to lock herself in there and cry until she fell asleep. But this time, she wasn't going to let that happend, not again, she was not that little girl anymore. She stood up and went up the stairs, for her luck there was no sight of Patty, Abby or Holtzmann, just Amelia, even tho she dind't care if everyone was there, she was ready to do this and she was not going to regret it.

 _"Amelia!"_ Erin walked to her. Amelia looked at her. _"Maybe you are right, I'm a coward but at least I'm not a little bitch like you, you don't even care about this, I bet you lied about graduating as an engineer, am I right?"_ Amelia opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. _"You are such a liar, you have no right to tell me how I am or what to do or even say things about me that are not right! You jsut want attention, you jsut wanted to have some fun and fuck the first person you wanted! I'm not the same girl as I was on school so I'm not afraid of saying this! You know nothing about me! You know nothing about any of us! You are a bitch, that's what you are! And don't fucking cry and tell me I hurt your feelings because you are heartless, you don't fucking care about anything! And yes! I'm in love with Holtzmann, that;s my problem, not yours!_ _I'm smarter than you and I don't pretend to be someone that I'm not! I don't care about what you said because I know you are lying! Go, be miserable, at least, I have a life and I don't need to ruin someone's life to feel better!"_ Erin took a deep breath and sigh. 

_"You know Jillian doesn't like you, you are-"_

_"You have no right to say that, you don't know her!"_

_"I spent enough time to know her!"_

_"Stop lying, I know you didn't."_

_"I kissed her!"_

Erin stopped for a moment and looked at Amelia. _"What?"_

_"Like you heard, I. Kissed. Her."_

Erin shook her head and felt tears in her eyes. _"You are a bitch."_

 _"You lost, you had your chance and you lost it. Not get out of my way and leave. Maybe Abby and Patty cares about you but not Jillian. Get over it."_ Amelia smiled.

_"You're a cold hearted bitch."_

_"Maybe, but at least I'm not someone who hide their feelings and-"_

_"Yo, stop it!"_ Patty yelled. Erin and Amelia looked at Patty, Abby and Holtzmann standing in there. _"What the fuck is wrong with you, Amelia? We thought you were sweet."_

 _"Erin-"_ Holtzmann said quietly.

 _"Save it."_ Erin ran to the bathroom and closed the door, pressing her back against the back. She hugged her legs and cried. She coulnd't take it anymore.

Abby looked at Amelia. _"Get the hell out of here."_

_"Abby-"_

_"Dr. Yates."_

Amelia looked at Patty. _"Patty."_

 _"Ms. Tolan for you, bitch."_ Patty said crossing her arms. _"You heard Abby, get the hell out of here, now."_

Amelia grabbed her things and looked at Holtzmann. _"Jillian, I-"_

 _"Don't call me Jillian, you were never allowed to call me Jillian."_ Holtz said with a serious face. _"Get. The hell. Out. Of. Here. NOW!"_

Amelia didn't say anything and just left. Abby sigh and shook her head. _"I can't believe Amelia said those things."_

 _"Girl, I can't believe Erin said THOSE thing."_ Patty shook her head. Holtzmann shook her head and walked to the bathroom. _"Let her cry a little, Holtzy, she needs a moment to be alone._ _"_

Holtzmann looked at Patty and then at the door. She nodded. _"Alright."_

***************

Abby sigh and walked around the room. _"It's been 2 hrs since Erin walked to the room and locked herself. She didn't say anything."_

Patty shook her head. _"And where in the hell is Holtzmann?"_

 _"I'm back!"_ Holtzmann walked to the kitchen and grabbed a spoon. She had a big bag on her hands.

 _"What is that?"_ Patty asked.

 _"Is Erin in the bathroom?"_ Holtzmann looked at Abby.

 _"No, she moved to the room and locked herself I think."_ Holtzmann walked to the room.

 _"You sure about that, Holtzy?"_ Patty asked looking at Holtzmann.

Holtzmann nodded and looked at Patty. _"I need to talk to her, I can't let her be like this, I can't."_

Abby and Patty nodded. _"We are going for something to eat so you guys um...can have a little more privacy."_

Holtzmann nodded and saw Patty and Abby leaving. Holtzmann sigh and knocked the door. _"Erin?"_

 _"Leave me alone!"_ Erin yelled and sobbed. Holtzmann sigh and opened the door. Erin looked at still higging her legs and looked at Holtzmann. _"I thought I locked the door."_

Holtzmann locked the door and looked at Erin. _"Now it's locked."_ Erin sigh and faced the wall. Holtzmann walked to the bed and sat down. _"Can we talk? Please?"_

_"You want to talk to me after I ignored you for 3 weeks?"_

_"Yeah, I do."_ Holtzmann sat beside Erin. _"I brought you some ice cream, a muffin, I brought some of you favorite ice tea, also some salty parabolas that I don't know if you like them but if you don't, I can eat them for you."_ Holtzmann smiled a little and looked at Erin. She stood quiet. Holtzmann sigh and left the bag in the bed. _"Erin, what Amelia said, I-"_

_"Did she really kiss you?"_

Holtzmann looked at Erin and she was still staring at the wall. _"She did."_

Erin sigh and looked at her feet. _"So she wasn't lying."_

_"No, she wasn't."_

Erin nodded and dried her tears with her sweater. _"Alright."_

_"But she didn't tell you that I pulled her away and I slapped her."_

Erin looked at Holtzmann with puffy eyes. Her eyes were red, it was obvious, she's been crying for the past 2 hrs. _"What?"_

Holtzmann took a deep breath. _"Yeah well, we were working and out of nowhere she kissed me but the moment she did that, I pulled her away and slapped her. That's why I left her working alone today, I was acually going to call Dr. Gorin so she could be her mentor. I didn't want to be her mentor anymore, not when she was going to act like that."_

_"You are aware that all this past weeks all she wanted to do was flirt with you?"_

_"I was aware of that, but I ignored that."_ Holtzmann crossed her arms and sigh. _"When I graduated, I promised myself that I wasn't going to let my personal life to get involved with my work."_

 _"Oh."_ Erin nodded and looked at the floor.

_"But I failed in that."_

Erin looked at Holtzmann. _"How so?"_

Holtzmann looked at Erin and grabbed one of her hands, interwining their fingers. _"When I met Abby, she was the first friend I had, no one wanted to be friends with a crazy and weird girl, I was always alone until I met Abby, she was my only family and friend. After that, you and Patty joined our club and you guys became my family. But that's not the reason I failed."_ Holtzmann paused for a little and looked at the floor. Erin turned to face her, sitting with her legs crossed and her other hand resting on their hands. _"Since the first day I saw you..."_ Holtzmann looked at her. _"I had to break my promise."_

_"What do you mean?"_

Holtzmann stared at Erin for a little while and rested her hand on Erin's face, caressing her cheek slowly, drying her tears with her thumb. _"Because I started falling in love with you."_

Erin's breath began to accelerate and her eyes widened. _"What?"_

 _"I couldn't help it, it was impossible not to. Everytime you smiled, everytime you laughed, everytime you talked, just...I loved staring at you. I can't believe you didn't notice, I always flirted with you."_ Holtzmann smiled a little and then her smiled disappeared. _"But I thought you hated me because you ignored me for 3 weeks and I thought that...maybe you just...got tired of me."_ Holtzmann looked at the floor. 

Erin grabbed Holtzmann's face in her hands and shook her head. _"Jillian..."_ Holtzmann looked at her right in the eyes. _"I could never get tired of you, I..."_ Erin took a deep breath and sigh. _"I love you, I know it's a little too fast to tell you did but...I do, I'm in love with you since I met you and I-I was scared to tell you because I never accept my feelings, I don't like to because I've never been in a relationship, no one ever liked me and I thought...I thought you didn't like me."_ Erin felt tears on her eyes. _"I could never hate you, never, I love you, I do."_

Holtzmann smiled and sniffed. _"I love you too."_

Erin smiled and sniffed too. Erin looked every inch of Holtzmann's face and smiled. She never thought she would be this close to Holtzmann, ever, her face was soft and she lvoed those cute dimples she had, her eyes looked bigger and her lips...those lips. Erin looked at Holtzmann's lips and her lips parted. Holtzmann did the same, she loved Erin's face, it was really soft, her eyes were beautiful and her lips looked so soft. Erin and Holtzmann looked at each others eyes at the same time. 

 _"Can I kiss you?"_ Erin asked softly.

Holtzmann smiled. _"No need to ask, you can do it whenever you want to."_

Erin smiled and leaned closer until their lips met. Holtzmann put her hands on Erin's waist and smiled into the kiss just like Erin did. The kiss lasted just a few more seconds before they pulled away and smiled.

 _"I've wanted to do that since a long long time ago."_ Holtzmann said against Erin's lips. 

_"Wish I could have told you a while ago."_

_"It's alright, now I can kiss you any time I want."_ Holtzmann bit her lip and winked at Erin.

Erin laughed a little and nodded. _"Yes, you can."_ Erin said before pulling Holtzmann for another kiss, this time it lasted a little longer.

Erin couldn't help but lay down and pulling Holtzmann on top of her. Holtzmann didn't complain at all, instead, she depended the kiss making them both moan. Erin's hands explored Holtzmann's hair and pulled it a little when Holtzmann bit her lip making her moan again. Holtzmann's hand roamed Erin's body, every part, Erin squirmed under Holtzmann and puleed her closer so Holtzmann was laying on her. Her hands roamed Holtzmann's neck until she was on her breasts. Holtzmann pulled away and kissed Erin's jawline. Erin moeaned a little and bit her lip until she felt Holtzmann's lips on her chest.

 _"Wait."_ Holtzmann looked at her. _"I-I don't want to go too far...for now."_ Erin looked nervous, not knowing what Holtzmann could say.

Holtzmann smiled and kissed Erin's lips lightly. _"Don't worry about it, I'm ok with that."_ Erin smiled and Holtzmann sat down again and so did Erin. _"You better eat your ice cream, it's going to melt if you don't eat it now."_

Erin laughed a little. _"Right."_ Erin grabbed the ice cream and the spoon. _"Oh, is my favorite."_ Erin started eating the ice cream. _"Thank you so much, Jillian."_ Erin smiled. _"Oh, damn, I've been calling like that and you don't like it, I'm so-"_

 _"Hey, no, don't be sorry, you are the only one who can call me Jillian, I love how it sounds on you voice."_ Holtzmann smiled.

Erin smiled. _"Great."_ Erin kissed her cheek. _"Want some ice cream?"_

_"I just brought one spoon."_

_"Don't be silly."_ Erin gave Holtzmann some ice cream and Holtzmann smiled. Erin pecked her lips and smiled. _"I could get used to this."_

 _"Good, because there's going to be a lot of nights like this."_ Holtzmann smiled. Erin rested her head on Holtzmann's shoulder and Holtzmann kissed her head. _"I love you."_

Erin smiled. _"I love you too."_

They spent their night eating, cuddling and kissing until they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> So guys, next week I'm starting school and since is my last year, it would be difficult for me to focus on writing, I'll try to finish the stories I have for this week and I'll see if I can write more while I'm on school because I'll also work so, I won't have a lot of free time. We'll see. Thank you for reading my stories, hope you like this one(:


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